


Stick-ebana

by Snarkoleptic



Series: Other Bits and Bobs [3]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Crack, Desire Demon - Freeform, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-23
Updated: 2011-12-23
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:54:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarkoleptic/pseuds/Snarkoleptic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young mages aren't the only ones who've got it rough trying to prepare for those Fade encounters. More parody. And more crack, although I really don't think that word fits whatever it is I've been smoking to have come up with this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stick-ebana

**Author's Note:**

> The following abomination has been brought to you by Enaid Aderyn at FF.net, who in addition to being another fine writer I highly recommend started the plot bunnies hopping by comparing the positioning of pasties to the Japanese art of flower arrangement.
> 
> Makes reference to Poor Unfortunate Souls. I'm not sure what to think that my mind twists in such disturbing ways. Apologies to the ESRB.  
> 
> 
> * * *

The damn thing had hit the floor _again_!

It was bad enough that all the good names had been taken, Shag thought, forgetting to twitch her hips as she bent to retrieve the sparkling object that had fallen to the ground for the dozenth time. _Just_ because she'd been a late bloomer, _just_ because her manifestation had taken a few extra minutes – all right, an hour, but she'd been amazed after this many centuries the civilized world she wanted to see couldn't have managed to come up with a few more words to _delicately_ hint at their base desires.

And of course Caress was laughing at her. Again. _That_ harpy had never had any trouble learning the art of arranging things.

Shag tried to tell herself she was just having a bad day. She had put _So. Much._ Into that musical number and it had really _hurt_ when that mage just turned around and walked away, leaving her with all that sparkly energy and nothing to do with it. At least the leftover music she'd summoned had drowned out Whisper's hysterical cackling.

Fade, but those other desire girls could be so _mean_!

And now she was stuck cupping her hand under her tit because the blasted pasty would _not_ cooperate and kept falling to the floor or coming unhinged and waving about in a decidedly unattractive way.

Well. According to Mistress Musk, leaving it like that would have attracted the eee essarby in a big-ass hurry. Not that anyone could tell her what the eee essarby actually _was_ , only that desire girls had to be ever vigilant against it.

Damn it. Damn it, damn it, _damn it_! There it went again! And _this_ time when she bent to retrieve it, the sash at her waist came loose and she realized exactly how much draftier things could get in the dreamscape. AAAUGH. Maybe if Caress would just die from _laughing_ she could concentrate enough to get things to stay put.

Why was _she_ the only girl in the Fade who ever had to worry about a wardrobe malfunction?

It had already taken two hours and three cans of horn spray to get her mantle to hold still, since the damn thing kept trying to frizz out in all directions at once. Nighttime in the land of her desire was fast approaching and she just didn't see how she was going to be ready in time. If things went on at this rate her husky voice would be marred by her tears of frustration and everybody _knew_ there was no such _thing_ as a pity demon.

Spirit. She meant spirit.

With her sash around her knees again, Shag wondered if it was too late to change careers and go into the field of broodmothering. At least _those_ bitches never had to worry about the proper placement of pasties.


End file.
